Writer, maker, and keeper of half-finished ideas
A rainy Saturday with an old external drive turned into an accidental autobiography written in lowercase. Ten years of file names had been keeping a quieter, more honest record of my ambition, avoidance, and self-deprecation than any journal ever did.
I kept every client email that sounded like a yes and behaved like a no. After twelve months, the phrases started translating themselves — and my pitches, follow-ups, and contracts changed with them.
Every November, my domain registrar sends me a bill for the projects I didn’t build. This year I opened the spreadsheet, named all eleven domains, and decided which maybe-somedays get another twelve months.
For most of 2026, I kept a spreadsheet of every creative opportunity I turned down. I expected it to be a money story. It turned out to be a map of my attention, my fear, and the one no I am ready to retire.
A client asked what I actually do all day, and I froze. So I wrote a job listing for my own creative practice — responsibilities, required skills, and all the invisible labor that never makes the portfolio. It changed how I scope work, quote projects, and defend the weird, quiet parts of the job.
I wrote up a dead video project like a real case study—brief, decisions, stall point, everything—and published it. It turned out to be the most useful thing on my site, especially for clients who are tired of polished wins.
I built a small public page listing the projects I’m actively avoiding and the reasons why. It was supposed to be a quiet confession, but it turned into the clearest description of my creative practice I’ve ever published.
For six months I mailed myself a postcard before every new project — client work, half-baked ideas, all of it. The three lines I wrote on the back turned out to be the cheapest project management system I've ever used, and the quit clause did most of the heavy lifting.
I emptied the plastic bin under my desk and cataloged every half-finished object inside — the scarf, the canvas, the rock-hard clay. The count surprised me, but the real discovery was what I owed each abandoned idea: honesty, not completion.
I lent a stranger one of my deadest half-finished projects and took one of hers in return. No finishing required, no advice unless asked, thirty days and then we hand them back. What I learned about sunk cost, permission, and being kind to your own work is not what I expected.
I had ten half-finished ideas I'd been quietly apologizing to for years. Last week I deleted them on purpose — not finished, not archived, just gone. The guilt showed up first. The lightness surprised me more.
I built a real portfolio section for three unfinished projects, labeled them honestly, and tracked who clicked for four weeks. The results were less dramatic than my fear and more useful than another polished case study.
I sent twelve people a link to my site and asked for exactly three words describing what I make. Then I read their answers next to my homepage copy, out loud, until I couldn't pretend the gap wasn't there. Here's what matched, what didn't, and the phrases I'm retiring in 2026.
I have a creative project that will never show up in my portfolio, my newsletter, or a casual scroll. It is not a secret because it is unfinished. It is a secret because privacy is doing something for the work that an audience cannot.
I dumped eleven years of half-finished drafts, dead project folders, and embarrassing notes into an AI tool and asked it to be brutally honest about what I was avoiding. It didn't tell me to write more. It told me I keep quitting at the exact moment a project starts needing another human being, a price tag, or an actual audience.
I gave five small creative experiments exactly one hour each and actually finished them. The zine, the patch, the voice memo, the poem, and the printable taught me more about why my big ideas stall than another year of planning ever could.
I asked twelve people—friends, clients, and two brave strangers—to describe my work from memory without opening my website. Then I read my About page out loud and had to sit down. Here's what the gap taught me about writing copy that sounds less like a committee and more like a person.
I can hit a client deadline with the focus of a raccoon in a bakery, then let my own projects sit in a folder called Almost for years. This is me digging into why paid work gets my best effort and personal work gets my leftover minutes — plus the weird little experiments that have actually helped.
I have a shelf of work that is done—edited, printed, mixed, packaged—and has never been shown to anyone. This is a tour of that back room, and an honest look at why finished work can feel more dangerous than the abandoned stuff.
For one week, my newsletter subscribers voted on everything: when I wrote, what I worked on, and when I was legally required (by me, publicly) to stop. Turns out a bunch of people who've never met me understood my work habits better than I do.